At My Own Hands
by PassageWanderer
Summary: Yi Jeong was off to Sweden. I Don't really know if he was my soulmate, but as he left he was taking a piece of me with Him. Now, thanks to Yi Jeong, Woo Bin has been by my side every second to make sure I'm out of trouble. But the more time I spent with him, the more I realized just how much control I had on my own life. To have the courage to change it. GA/BIN
1. Chapter 1

**I Don't own Boys Before Flowers; only any charactors from this story not previously in BBF and also this plot line is mine.**

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**At my own Hands**

**Chapter 1: Sweedish Berry**

I stood at the gate to his plane awaiting his goodbye. He was saying goodbye to all of us.

_"How long until you return?" I asked my stomache tied into knots._

_"Four years, possibly longer," he told me. "But when I return, you will be the first one I come looking for. If you haven't found your soulmate up until then."_

"Flight 2009 to Sweden now boarding." The intercom echoed through the airport. My heart jumped as the realization had dawned on me that he was really leaving.

Everyone was there waiting to see him off. Except Woo Bin. Which is odd. I thought they were best friends? Maybe they had gotten into an argument and he was mad with him. Stupid man. I would still see Jan Di off even if her and I had fought.

"Be seeing you," he told them all. Ji Hoo Sunbae stood there smiling his warm smile, Joon Pyo stood behind Jan Di, and I stood farther off. There was no use in moping, but I put on a happy smile as he was finishing his goodbyes with Joon Pyo and Jan Di.

"Ga Eul,"he looked at me and put his hands on my shoulders. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

I nodded still looking at him. He surprised me by wrapping me into a hug.

"Don't change..." he whispered into my ear. "Don't change from this Ga Eul..." I closed my eyes and breathed in. He smelt like burning wood and spices. I wanted to burn the scent into my nose so that was all I could smell. But he pulled away as I felt someone behind me. I looked around and it was Woo Bin Sunbae. "Ya, I thought you didn't want to see me go. You don't believe in goodbyes." Yi Jeong smiled.

"Hey, I figured why not? You'd do the same for me even if you believed the same way." Woo Bin Sunbae's smile lit up the whole gate. It was contageous as we all smiled even as Yi Jeong Sunbae was leaving us. I stood between the two as they talked, I was about to move away when Yi Jeong looked back to me. "Woo Bin," he said looking back to his friend.

"Hm,"

"Whatch over this one, keep her out of trouble." He smiled. I never got into trouble. I thought that was Jan Di who was always in trouble?

"But-" I started to say but Woo Bin's arms came around me. I froze. Yi Jeong just smiled as if there was nothing wrong with the way Woo Bin Sunbae was holding me. "She won't go anywhere or do anything!" he declared. Everyone laughed except me, I made a small smile and wiggled myself free.

"Last call for Flight 2009 to Sweden!" A flight attendant called from the gate. We all smiled and waved as Yi Jeong Sunbae bourded his plane and flew away.

I had completely forgotten that I rode to the airport with Yi Jeong Sunbae. "Jan Di-ah, I hadn't realized that I had rode here with Yi Jeong Sunbae, could I ride back with you and Joon Pyo Sunbae?"

Before Jan Di could answer Joon Pyo leaned in over Jan Di's shoulder, "Why don't you ride back with Woo Bin. He's watching over you now isn't he?" My face lit up bright red and Jan Di elbowed Joon Pyo in the chest. He faked a hurt expression.

"Ya, I'll take her back. I'll be a man of my word for Yi Jeong. Let's go Ga Eul, you're not leaving my sights." He smiled again.

I Was still hot in the cheeks when Woo Bin opened up his passenger door for me to get in. When I had he closed the door. I said to myself to keep things simple and make this ride home the littlest amount of awkward as possible, so I mentally decided just speak when spoken to.

"So," Woo Bin said as he started the car and drove out of the airport parking lot and onto the freeway. "Where to?" he asked. I looked at him confused.

"What do you mean Sunbae?"

"Well it is only nine o' clock on a Saturday night, you really want to go home?" He looked at me.

This was probably that moment when he was going to realize just how much of a babo I really was that I actually did want to go home even though it was a Saturday night.

"Well what is your suggestion?" I asked trying to sound cool.

He smirked a little and my stomache did a small flip. _I am NOT going to fall for his charms too. It's bad enough that Yi Jeong had me wrapped around his finger I wasn't going to let it happen again. _

"Well, would you like to get a drink with me?" he looked at me, and then back to the road.

I had to think about it. This actually wasn't pretend, or acting. That would be nice for a change. But I looked down at my clothes, I wasn't dressed to go to a club. " I can't Sunbae, I'm not dressed to go out."

He looked at me, and then my clothes. "What you're wearing doesn't look bad. It's just a drink. Not a date. You just look as though you need to relax. Yi Jeong does have a tendancy to stress women out. So do the other two."

"And you don't?" I remembered over hearing some girls from Jan Di's school at a cafe once going on and on how they had not heard back from _Their dashing prince._

He smiled and looked out his window a second then over to me then back at the road, "Okay I guess we all do, But I don't want you to stress you're face looks ugly when you get stressed."

"Sunbae!" I said a little hurt.

He put a hand up in defense. "I said when you get stressed! When you're not stressed you're quite cute." he said a little quietly towards the end.

"Thanks Sunbae, I'm so thrilled you noticed." I said a bit aggitated now. I did want a drink. The past couple months dealing with my dad's job, then my mother worried wether or not I would get married. Then my decision to live on my own in my own apartment. Then Yi Jeong leaving.

"Okay. One drink as friends."

Three beers later...

What are you talking about Woo Bin Sunbae! There are Ten fingers on both hands!" I held up both of my hands so he could see.

"No Way, there are eight!" He held up his hands and stuck out both thumbs, "These are your thumbs! They are not fingers!"

We both laughed. We knew how stupid the argument was, but we both enjoyed the amusement of it.

"I think three is enough for me, time to go home now." I was reaching for my coat but he touched my hand. I looked up at him slowly. I didn't quite understand why my heart was racing, but as I looked at him, somthing stirred inside me. I didn't want to be used anymore! I don't want to be another one of the F4's playthings. I was a real person, with real feelings, "Sunbae-"

"Woo Bin... please, just call me Woo Bin."

"Woo Bin-ssi, I do have to go it's getting late."

"One more. And I promise to take you home myself." I looked at him and then smiled. Just one. "I'll be right back. Don't leave!" He went to the bartender. After he ordered he turned back and looked at me from across the bar. I turned back before he could see me watching him. He was so nice. He wasn't as cold and cool as Yi Jeong Sunbae. He was warm, light hearted and so easy going. He was right about being the one with the least amount of stressed involed. He ended up explaining it as girls liked stress, it seems to keep them going, keeping them busy. That's why they stick around. But with him, if he keeps the stress out of the situation, girls tend to not really stick around.

But I loved the no stress idea. It just makes the world go around much smoother. I smiled. It was as he thought too. He came back with two small glasses that had what seemed to be a red liquid in them.

"What on earth Sunba- Woo Bin-ssi," I corrected myself as he looked at me.

"It is called a 'Sweedish Berry'. It's fruity, you'll like it."

"Does this have anything to do with Yi Jeong Sunbae?" I didn't really like the idea, it made me set the small glass down and look at it with a sort of distaste.

"How about we look at it as, thanks to Yi Jeong going to Sweden, I wouldn't have had the chance to get to know you better tonight, and for him going to Sweden, and me getting the chance to keep you out of trouble," He winked at me.

I rolled my eyes. "I suppose." We lifted the glasses and both finished it...

When I went to bed that night, I fell asleep with mixed emotions. They were both completely opposite eachother, yet, they both had me in some sort of daze. I didn't really understand. I would call Jan Di tomorrow and hopefully figure out something to do with these feelings.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: WARNING! This chapter has violence a suggested rape scenes. This chapter is a bit explicit for teens under 17. Just skip it! I don't own BBF or any characters. My plot and my story.**

**Chapter 2: Free Will**

It had been six months since Yi Jeong Sunbae has been in Sweden, and I had spent every moment with Woo Bin ssi. He kept me on my toes this whole time. He was surely keeping to his word to keeping me out of trouble, and everything in between. I was doing my best to keep out of falling for Woo Bin ssi, though I had a rough time. Though I kept thinking to myself, that life wasn't about boys. And it wasn't about finding my soulmate. It was about leading a life full of good choices and honoring those choices with good actions. About showing love to others and getting love in return, not just by a certain someone, but by everyone whose life you touch.

I looked down at my watch and realized that my class starts in ten minutes, so I rushed over to the college; afterward I was meeting Jan Di for lunch.

After a couple Hours the class was granted a short five minute break. I enjoyed this class very much. It was just a simple writing class. Composition in Fiction and Non Fiction. We had spent the first part of the period in Fiction, now we are studying the Non Fiction aspect of writing.

"Alright class, who can tell me a little bit about nonfiction writings, and give an example." Said the teacher.

I raised my hand, She acknowledged me and I answered "Nonfiction can be anything real such as Biographies, and Essays."

"Thank you Miss Chu, our next assignment is going to be an Essay, but I'm going to Give you a free reign on what it is you wish your topic to be. Be creative; use a personal experience, or a controversial topic." She handed out a paper that had details about the assignment, and then she looked down at her watch. "Alright class, we are out of time today, but I expect to see rough drafts next week, and we can begin the editing process."

What in the world should I do this assignment about? I didn't have a single idea. I saw Jan Di waving and I headed her way, and we were off to lunch.

"Why don't you do it on Soul mates?" Jan Di had said with a mouthful of rice.

"What is there to say about it? That's the one person that you are to be with your whole life the rest of your life and beyond."

Jan Di shook her head. "Nuh uh!"

"Jan Di—"

"Ga Eul, Ji Hoo is my soulmate, but I am not with him. I love Joon Pyo with everything in me… and beyond. He is the one I chose to be with, because even though I love them both, I live for Joon Pyo. Because I chose that, not something the Gods predicted for me."

Then it clicked. Free Will! Destiny doesn't choose the paths of Humans; we choose for better or worse what it is we want for our lives.

"Jan Di! Thank you so much! I want to talk to Woo Bin; I have some questions for him, thank you Jan Di I will talk to you soon!" I pulled my phone out of my purse and I found Woo Bin's number. As I turned the corner I dialed it and it started to ring. I crossed the street and turned into a park. The call didn't go through. I tried it again but then I ran into someone. "Oh! I'm sorry!" I looked up and seen a man, who smiled down at me. My stomach tied into knots and I backed away.

"Why, hello there beautiful." The man said rubbing his hands together, his eyes raking my body.

I felt the urge to cover myself because of the way he was looking at me, "Stay away from me…"

"Darling, I'm not going to bite. Just nibble a little." A couple more guys came out of nowhere.

"Hey, Ji Han Let me have a piece, this one looks tasty." One of them said.

I heard a faint 'hello' coming from my phone, it was Woo Bin ssi! "You guys won't hurt me. We're in the middle of a park outside of the college." My phone was quiet but it was still connected. I needed one of the guys to talk…

"Yes, true as that is. But we are also as you said, in the middle. So no one could hear you." My phone then disconnected. I know Woo Bin ssi was on his way, so now I needed to stall some time.

"Try to touch me; you fools would have done it already!" I backed against something hard. Next thing I knew one of them had a hold of me. I started to try and pull from his grip but he was too strong. His hand cupped one of my breasts. He breathed into my ear, "Girl, you just have all the goods, don't you?" He licked my neck. Tears came down my cheeks as the started to move me to a more open clearing and slammed me onto the ground. I hit my head on a rock, the pain seared through my body. Where was Woo Bin ssi, he heard what he needed to know! I could feel myself slipping into unconsciousness as I seen them pull out a pair of scissors and started to cut up from the bottom of my skirt. They had gotten that off and they had ripped my coat off from my back. Their hands were all over my body when suddenly it was as though they were no longer there. I tried opening my eyes and I could see one man tearing into each man. For five minutes I seen the man beat each one of them to near death and they all lay in bloody heaps. The cold was beginning to seep to my bones and I started to shiver. My half naked body was exposed to the elements. I couldn't move. My brain was telling them to, but my muscles themselves couldn't. The man came closer.

"Woo Bin ssi… I knew you came. I knew it was you. There would be no one else. Thank you my Woo Bin ssi…" And I succumbed to the darkness.

I barely awoke two or three times only to find that I was in the hospital with the nurse checking on me now and then. Each time I briefly woke Jan Di was by my side. But one time, Woo Bin was there, holding onto the bed fiercely, but he then sat down and laid his head on my hand. His cheeks were wet.

"Ga Eul… I'm so sorry I didn't come sooner. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me…" Before I could say anything I fell back asleep.

Then as if in a dream I heard Woo Bin talking with someone, I was pretty sure it was Ji Hoo and Joon Pyo Sunbae.

"What did she do again" Joon Pyo asked.

"She called me. She had already been trying to get a hold of me but I was at a meeting. And then when I picked up it had connected and then she said something about 'not hurting me we are in the middle of a park in front of the college,' then I heard some guys laugh and then I realized what she was doing and that she was in trouble so as I was on my way to my car I kept listening in case there was something else, and then I heard the guy confirm what she said and say something about nobody hearing her screams. Instantly it was like a fire burning inside me I was gone and when I found them Ga Eul was… on the ground…"

"It's okay to leave that part out Woo Bin," Ji Hoo told him.

He swallowed hard and continued. "I wanted to kill each of them. But that would be an escape. So I _nearly_ killed them. I turned them in, but I need her to Confirm them when she is well enough. It's already been a week. But they said they would hold them anyhow because I had beaten them to near death they needed medical attention."

Joon Pyo laughed a little, "Does our Woo Bin have certain feelings for a certain bumpkin lying in that hospital bed," he put his arm around him. They all just laughed.

Woo Bin has feelings for me… I fell back asleep again…

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